Resolutions

It isn't New Years - not even close- and the time for birthday resolutions has passed, but I have made some resolutions.

• I will have my paint choices narrowed down to 1-2 colors per wall by October.
  
• I will have those walls painted by the time my family comes in town for Thanksgiving.
  
• I will buy Christmas presents before December 23rd.
  
• I will go back to WW meetings. This at home thing is NOT working for me. I don't have the discipline. Or the will power.
  
• Along with that...I will go back to the gym. I can't afford a trainer anymore, so I'm going to go to the classes. If anyone has 24 Hour Fitness favorite classes...let me know.

A backyard fence will become priority #1- I'm going to start getting estimates next week! (This has become a priority because my sweet angel of a dog has gotten out of the back yard no less than 4 times in the last oh, lets say 48 hours. Love her.) There's just nothing like having to break in to the locked fence of the rent house across the street to get your dog. Obviously, PetSmart Puppy School did NOT work out for us. I will be removing their magnet from my car. (Because, of course, it's not MY fault that I didn't continue to go through the skills learned in puppy school...) I say "Okay Layla, lets go inside" and she BOLTS for whatever newly dug hole she has made herself in the fence. She runs FAST. I, do not. And of course, right now, she's laying on the floor in the office quietly next to my chair like she's the best puppy on the planet. As if. I think she has selective obedience.

I work tonight and I am not looking forward to it- I've been up since 11am. No nap. It will be a LOOOOOONG night. Lots of coffee. I expect a McDonalds run for extra coffee. Probably also Starbucks before hand. And my own coffee. Yay!

I'm going to a CCRN Review in October so I know where I need to start beefing up on.

Thats all. I have to go get ready for work now!! thank you, and good night.

So I was talking with my wonderful friend Kandice on the phone earlier tonight and came to the realization that when I'm REALLY honest with myself it's not so much a husband I want right now- it's the second income.

For reals. DirecTV won't charge me double because two people are watching HBO. But two people will be paying for that shit! The fence would still cost the same- but two people would be paying for that shit! Same with windows, paint, general household acoutrement...

A fairly redundant thought considering my post two posts ago...but it's a recurring thought in my head right now.

Paying for Steamboat, for example. It can be done on my salary- it WILL be done on my salary. But on my salary plus one other salary- it can be DONE. With muuuuch less planning.

Like I said, redundant but recurring thought.

I have also decided here in the last hour or so that I need to start studying for my CCRN. It is a certification on top of my RN license that basically says "Hey, this girl knows her shit about critically ill patients- lets give her some more letters to put behind her name!" Those of you that have known me for awhile know that I don't study. I haven't really needed to- I just pay attention in class and look over my notes the night before the test. I didn't REALLY study for my licensure exam- I took a class and paid attention. However...the CCRN has some pretty detailed information about very particular pieces of drug actions and stuff that "other" nurses don't always have to be concerned about...whether or not it's an alpha or beta agonist or antagonist and whether the pt needs a beta1 or beta2 blockade...so. I will have to study. I have my trusty ICU Book (Thanks Paul L Marino) which I JUST discovered has some tasty little quotes at the beginning of each chapter (A searchlight cannot be used effectively without a fairly thorough knowledge of the territory to be searched. - Fergus Macartney, FRCP; fitting quote for the chapter on pulmonary artery catheters). I also have my Pass! CCRN book. I will be taking a review in October. Ugh.

Oh!! Speaking of October for those of you who are into walking for a good cause- my Mother, my Aunts and myself (maybe other family members) will be joining in the Memory Walk for the Alzheimer's Associations local Fort Worth Chapter on October 17th at La Grave Field near downtown Fort Worth. Let me know if you want to join up. It is for a WONDERFUL cause that is very near and dear to my heart.

Which leads me to my OTHER point (I have lots of them tonight)- I have decided to take up a cause. Well, two actually. One is Alzheimer's Disease (It sucks) and the other is Organ Donation (it is awesome). I've lost two family members to Alzheimer's and I have become very passionate about organ donation since going to work in the ICU. I think it's always just good practice to have a cause. Being an overacheiver...I chose two.

I have also decided that I need a hobby. When I'm not working I mostly just sit around and watch tv and pet my dog and sometimes go to the gym and sometimes cook. I need a HOBBY. Or a second job. Even better would be a hobby that pays $$. Some of you girls are doing the card making (which I enjoy doing...I just don't- but I enjoy a lot of things I just don't do) and some are big with the cooking and baking and volunteering. I really need to get my violin revamped and go play in the FW Community Orchestra. That would be the easiest. Or start selling stuff like everyone else on the planet. I like Scentsy, but everyone sells that. I like Stampin' Up! but I would have to make cards and have parties and stuff. Maybe Southern Living at Home. It's just stuff and I don't know anyone who sells it.

Really, I just want to DO MORE. I read all these blogs of these wonderful girls that I know and they DO things. They have YL groups or they cook these ridiculous meals or they take beautiful photographs or raise their freaking kids or whatever else it is they do apart from their jobs. I go to work, push some meds, occasionally save a life and then come home, sleep, microwave a meal and maybe go see a movie where shit blows up. I need a life. I just don't know what to do!!!!!!

Rereading this blog before posting...I'm kind of a mess!

PSA

So here is my public service announcement for the day:

If, in the tragic event of your death- brain or otherwise, you would like to donate your organs so that others might have a better life, please please please go to:

donatelifetexas.org

Make your decision known to your family. Mentioning it to Aunt Ruth once way back when won't cut it. Register to be a donor and let your immediate family know. Opportunities to save lives are missed every day.

Nesting, minus the baby...and the husband.

So for the last week or two I have become greatly unsatisfied with certain aspects of my home. Like, have to fix it now, officially driving me crazy need to get it done unsatisfied. I have decided that the windows HAVE to be replaced...ALL OF THEM and that the current fence has GOT TO GO!! I need windows from the current century that are of the double paned, energy saving type and a backyard fence that keeps me from seeing the trashy neighbors across the alley who keep their dogs tied down (ugh) and that keeps my curious little pita puppy from getting out every time she sees something interesting so that maybe I can let her outside without constant personal supervision.



I also want crown molding in the living room, to repain the bookcase, to repaint most of the house, really. I want to redo the entire backyard (after the fence) and the front yard and replace the carpeting in the master bedroom (wish I could do more hardwood flooring) and some new living room furniture and refinish the dining room table and redo the kitchen cabinets.



You get the picture.



Paint will be cheap. The rest will not.



Which brings to me to the part of the post in which I get (not so) irrationally angry at things I can't change and in which I may (not maliciously) inadvertently piss off/annoy my married friends...



Here's the thing- money doesn't buy happiness, or at least that's the theory, right? I call bullshit. It may not buy actuall happiness, but I'll be damned if it doesn't buy a hell of a lot of peace of mind.



Now, I have a great job and I make enough money to afford the house I bought and my bills on my own, which is liberating. But that's about all I can afford, and I can't help but think "if only I had a second income to help out!" Not that married people have it made in the shade and that it would solve all the problems in the world- but dammit, where are the registries for single girls buying their own home????? When will it be kosher for someone to throw me a "single girl" shower and send out invites so I can register at Macy's, Target and Bed Bath and Beyond??? When will someone else buy my place settings and new towels and sheets for the guest bedroom????

Yes it's crazy selfish and more than a little bitchy but why do people getting married get all the fun? Single people buy homes every day and they might want place settings and a toaster too!!

I love my married friends and my engaged friends and I wouldn't for the world take the fun of registering away from them- I guess it's just combination of the green eyed monster and frustration at the lack of stretchiness to my paycheck and my big ol' want list for the house. But dammit...I want place settings!