Hi all...did you miss me?????

I knew you did!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

Mine was pretty great. I was tired from the whole night shift business, but Christmas was great.

I am in MUCH better spirits since my last two Debbie downer posts. Mostly, because things have turned back in my favor, as I prefer them to; and as I am accustomed to.

I am SUCH a princess.

So, in news as I know it, I got the money for a down payment, which is good. I was VERY VERY relieved. Now all that's left is making sure the seller will let us push back the closing date (not much of a choice, really) and getting all the stuff taken care of. I am really hoping to get this all over with because the last two weeks have been such a pain in my ass that I have been thinking "why didn't I just get a freakin' apartment...." I know in the long run this is a smart move and I will be very grateful for it...but I'm ready to get the show on the road so I can get all my crap out of storage!!! I'm really excited about the house and I'm very much hoping it will all still work out just like I want it too...I guess I just thought it would all be a lot easier.

Anyway...I got a washer and dryer for Christmas, which I am very happy about...two less major appliances I have to buy. Really I'm only needing a refrigerator now. And a tv later. And a new bedroom suite. And this, and that and blah blah blah. Already, the house is a money pit!!! Alarm system is a must though. Probably also a dog. Which means I need a freakin' land line. Blah blah blah. Like I said...money pit!

Got some towels, got various decorative accouterments for the house and a sweet gift certificate to Lowe's that I KNOW will be my bestest friend ever.

I am VERY ready for Steamboat. I haven't had a vacation since Steamboat last year and I'm very excited for a real week away with no actual responsibilities besides drinking and singing along to my mostest favoritest songs ever.

One a different, sad note: It's been a really shitty week for a lot of people. A friend most of you are already praying for and a lot of my ICU families lost loved ones right before Christmas...so keep them in your thoughts and prayers too. I may not know all of their names, nor can I really tell you anyway...but just send up a prayer for the countless families who have lost people. It sucks.

Not much of an update, but there you go.

Oh!!! Any plans for New Years???? I am thinking of Reckless Kelly at Gilley's in Dallas. Hotel anyone???

Don't even read this...Spoiled Brat talking.

So I'm still in a funk. I know I promised that today would be better...and it was! I woke up in a good mood, forgetting all the bullshit of last night (well, putting it behind me at least) and I was golden.

Then my mortgage guy called me and told me that the grant program we are using for my down payment isn't going to be basically effective until February, which blows.

My downpayment isn't massive, but it's still double what I have in the bank and I certainly can't double it on my own before the end of the month.

In all honesty, spoiled princess that I am, I am not used to disappointment and I do NOT like it and I do NOT deal with it well.

So now, I'm kind of stuck and I don't really know what to do. I don't know if my parents will help me out with the down payment. I've been looking around the interwebs all night for other options but I make too much money for most of them.

Plus, mortgage guy pushed a lot of other loan business, like my appraisal and FHA stuff, back in order to wait on this grant to process, so even if I had the money, I couldn't close until January anyway.

I can see the seller pushing the closing date back until January, but not February.

I know everything happens for a reason and all that crap. Generally, I believe it. I get through shitty work days with sad patients because of it.

But dammit...I don't particularly like it when it applies to me! Certainly not two days in a row.

I know in the grand scheme of things, I've spent my last two blog posts whining like the spoiled little bitch that I am and I need to shut my pie hole because things could be infinitely worse and I see people every day who would love to have had the advantages I have.

But I really prefer my shitty days be spread out a little further than one right after the other.

On an up note, I got some pretty lip gloss from Ulta today. I do love lipgloss.

Ugh.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day.

Right?

heeeeeey chubby!

So I am wallowing in self pity today, which is not something I generally do. It puts me in a pissy mood and makes me feel like the whole world is full of shitty people and I don't like being pissy, nor do I particularly like the feeling that the world is made up of douchebags.

But...despite my efforts and minor shopping excursion I remain in self pity. And not even for a good reason!

I was supposed to have a date tonight. Friend of a friend, blah blah blah...actually had a job and social skills and did not appear to be a total douche bag. Talked to him over the weekend a little, he asked my out Monday, Tuesday we talked about what we were going to do, Wednesday I slept all day because of my work schedule and he works normal people hours and tonight we were supposed to go out. Well, it's 10:30 now and despite me calling him this afternoon (once! only once!) to confirm plans, I am NOT out on a date and he has NOT called.

So now...I am wallowing in self pity because I KNEW in the back of my head that he wouldn't call...but goodness I was so excited at the prospect of an actual date with an actual boy who wasn't a loser and I just told myself...of COURSE he'll call.

I don't know why I tell myself they'll call. They don't. They never call.

See...self pity. Wallowing. General lameness.

I hate it.

It pisses me off and it actually really hurts my feelings. A lot. I'm getting pretty sick of the disappointment.

When I talked to him Tuesday I said "Still Thursday night, right?" And he says "Yeah, why wouldn't we be good for Thursday?" and I said "Just making sure your schedule hasn't changed with all the Christmas rush business" and he said..."Nope, we're good for Thursday. I'll be there."

Ugh.

What annoys me the most is that if he called tomorrow and had a semi decent excuse I'd let it slide because it has been SO long since I've been on a date. Like, sad long.

And of course, with the pissy mood and the disppointment come those stupid inadequacy feelings. That mean ugly little voice in the back of your mind that says "Of course he didn't call you, you ugly fat cow...why would he call YOU when he could call any number of girls that aren't you. Cute boys with jobs and social skills don't call you. Just keep waiting around for the loser who will settle for you."

That voice pisses me off. 95% of the time, that voice is NOWHERE in my head. I've done a very good job of silencing that voice until, like always, it goes....heeeeeeeey chubby!

So...I am pissed off and wallowing in self pity until tomorrow morning when I will go shopping.

Muy Bueno!

So I ended my last of three with another trauma admit...I just LOVE trauma admits!!!! And, I love that my charge nurses are GIVING me trauma admits. There were other open bays and other groups of patients they could have put me with, but they put me in the patient group that was totally open for a hit. I think that is a good thing!!

Getting closer on buying the house. I'm getting a grant from the State of Texas for first time home owners for my downpayment, so basically, I'm just waiting on the state to lock down the interest rate and release the money. And for my seller to fix the effed up plumbing. You know, details.

So every year (okay, the last two years) I have done a sort of year end review on my blog. So, here is 2008 in review:

January: Rang in New Years in typical Woody's drunk fashion...dancing like a crazy drunk and puking in the Woody's bathroom. I am a CLASSY girl. Then it was off to Steamboat for LOTS and LOTS of music and fun and awesomeness. This year we "found" ski poles and kissed some inappropriate boys...nothing new! I also started my Critical Care class which was AWESOME!!! And, most importantly, I cut 10 inches of hair off!!!

Febuary: I was SUPER busy this month with school and work. The boy called out of the blue and fucked my shit up. I don't think I've talked to him since I told him to shit or get off the pot...go figure. I think mostly this month I just worked and went to school and tried to survive!

March: Critical Care was over and I achieved a great personal achievement this month when I was asked to lead a student code team for mock codes and had the most annoying classmate E. V. E. R. in my code group because, and I quote, "we needed to put him in a group with the strongest person in the class so he would listen to you and show you some respect." Hells yeah. I spent this month discovering how much I hated Community. Lame ass class.

April: Shaleena and I kicked off her birthday celebration with a 10 hour drinking marathon. We are troopers. This month my Grannie got sick and had to go into the hospital and get some blood because her H&H was low. A week after she got the blood, her H&H was low again...she was bleeding internally. Grannie died on the 29th. She was quite possibly the best Grannie ever.

May: kicked off with Grannie's funeral and finals. What a fun combination! And also...portable meth labs for educational purposes! The absolute best part of this month...my neice!!! Ashley Elizabeth Frederick was born on May 19th looking ridonk pretty, as is common for Frederick women. That's just how we roll. I also got a well needed few weeks off from school and some absolutely needed rest.

June: #26!!!! Semi-lame birthday party in which Amanda and Logan rocked my life, but everyone else was drunk elsewhere and forgot to come see me. Lame. I got the WORST. HAIRCUT. EVER. Seriously. It was bad. Like, epic bad. I'm still trying to recover. Thankfully I got my graduation photos done before then. I started getting together job stuff and applying and all that good business. This is also when V, Jessica and I met "Mark" at the Wade/Randy acoustic show. He was AWESOME!!!

July: Great 4th!!!! I was counting down the seconds to graduation AND I came home for a bunch of interviews and found myself with a Job!!!!!! Little did I know how much I would love my job! I accepted my job at JPS and got closer and closer and closer to graduation and more and more excited for big girl life to begin!

August: GRADUATION!!!!!! After Ashley, this is probably the BIGGEST moment of my year. Definitely a highlight. What a relief to have it over. I graduated and took a review and moved and started my job!!!! Whoa!!!

September: Most of this month I spent in the classroom...graduate and end up back in a classroom...go figure! I took my state boards and passed the first time...Go me!! So I was officially an RN. I touched a patient for the first time in about two months, which was scary! But it was also super exciting to do things as an actual nurse. Yay!

October: More nurse time, more fun patients. Plus, toga parties and Ambers birthday and a trip to Waco for a good cause and I started hanging out with some fun new people. I also started looking for houses...got me a mortgage guy and a real estate agent and started doing big girl things!!

November: My last month on orientation. By this time I was pretty much taking patients on my own and doing a pretty good job of it, thankyouverymuch! I had my first Thanksgiving away from my parents (no mashed potatoes???) and a super fun trip to Oklahoma and started working nights. Boy was that a change! I was thankful for manythings, especially my family and friends.

Which brings me to December...I have a contract on a house and a great neice and I'm nursing all by myself and calling doctors and being awesome.

It's been a VERY VERY good year!!! Here's to '09!!!

Time to get serious.

So last night was my first shift to fly solo...

I started out with two relatively easy patients, which I figured I would. One of my patients was really a medicine patient (I was on the surgical side) so midway through the night they told me they would be moving my medicine patient over to the medicine hall and I would be getting in a trauma admit. Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!

Now really, y'all know how I love my trauma, so I'm sure everyone can guess how excited I was for the blood and the guts.

Very!

In all actuality my admit went through OR first, so he was pretty much cleaned up, it was a pretty good admit...but yay!

I think my first night alone went really well. I kept on top of my charting and finished up admit stuff on on patient and moved my patient across the way and got the new one and was able to stay on top of everything really well...so yay me!

I'm hoping I get my patients back tonight, that would be a good thing!

Two more nights and I'm off for a few days and then I am doing my advanced cardiac life support classes and then on for five freakin' nights in a row. I'm KIND OF hoping to beg off Sunday so I can go to Waco, because apparently I'm only supposed to work two nights next week instead of the three I'm scheduled for. Whoops!

Still waiting on repairs and my state grant for the house. I have some shopping left to do, but it's not the fun shopping. I already did that...I bought baby clothes!!!

And so...I am off to maybe watch a little tv before I have to go be super nurse again!

She's Shinin' in the Moonlight

So I'm on this Reckless Kelly kick that isn't a usual kick for me. Usually I get on Wicked kicks or Hairspray or Wade or something other than RK. But, I'm kinda lovin' this kick. Plus, it's just in time for Friday night at BB's.

So I spent yesterday and today at a Trauma Nursing class on the south JPS campus and it was a great class. It wasn't a lot of new or different information but it was a good reinforcement of things I've actually been doing on my trauma admits and some reinforcement of mechanism of injury stuff and an overall good time. Lots of fun bloody pictures.


And if I may brag a moment...


In order to pass the course and get your trauma nurse certification you have to pass a written exam and also pass a skills lab where you are given a trauma scenario and you have to walk through the entire assessment one step at a time, in order, and talk about what your injuries are and what you're anticipating and what you, as a nurse, are going do about it and you have to include a lot of information and tell the person grading the test a lot of things you're going to be looking at and doing and thinking about and assessing and reassessing and anticipating. So I take my written and pass it (duh) and go in and do my skills lab and afterwards the test lady, who has been an ER nurse here at JPS for quite awhile asks me "How long have you been a nurse?" and I say "Three months in ICU" and she says "You did a fabulous job. You would make a wonderful ER nurse. You should come down and work with us. We have openings."

Woot!

I am VERY happy where I am at, I love working in ICU. I love the kind of patients we get, I really like my physicians, I like the people I work with and I kinda love my boss. But, it's NICE to hear that someone that has been an ER nurse for a long time thinks I would do such a good job, especially because I thought about ER nursing a lot in school. I'll make no secret of it that I love the trauma patients the most...those first few hours after an admit are FUN. Lots to do, lots to think about, sometimes there are lots of cool things to see. I really think, mostly, I like the critical thinking part of it...if his injury is this then what does that tell me? what am I worried about (they're in the ICU, you're always worried about SOMETHING!)? what do I want to ask my physicians for? what kind of equipment do I need? am I still worried about what I was worried about two questions ago? I LOOOOOOVE it.

I do love an occasional ego stroking.

In house news...We extended the option period on Monday (Tuesday?) so the seller could go through the inspection with his contractor and decide what they were and weren't going to fix. They countered on what I wanted fixed and I countered back with the final "if you don't do this then I'm walkin'" and they're going to fix what I really want fixed and have the stuff I want inspected inspected, so I'm excited. Hopefully we'll get these issues taken care of and I can close sooner rather than later. I'm kinda ready to just get it all over with so I can paint walls and get a garden hose.

That's really about it. Not a lot of existential crises of morality today. Although I'll say this: as much as I like drama and watching a good trainwreck...I'm pretty over dramaqueenattentionwhorecrybabyborderlinepainsintheass. Seriously. Don't say you made a mistake and act like you're sorry for it and then turn around and do THE EXACT. SAME. THING. all over again and think I'm going to feel bad for you.

Oh, and stupid people. I'm not a fan of stupid people. Stupid nurses especially. I've only been a nurse for 3 months and I can do this TNCC stuff and not freak out over it...you've been a nurse for 7 years and you're pacing the halls wondering if you're going to go home elated or CRYING???? Shoot. Hope your patients don't mine nervous morons taking care of them after they get shot.

Just sayin'.