So I was talking with my wonderful friend Kandice on the phone earlier tonight and came to the realization that when I'm REALLY honest with myself it's not so much a husband I want right now- it's the second income.

For reals. DirecTV won't charge me double because two people are watching HBO. But two people will be paying for that shit! The fence would still cost the same- but two people would be paying for that shit! Same with windows, paint, general household acoutrement...

A fairly redundant thought considering my post two posts ago...but it's a recurring thought in my head right now.

Paying for Steamboat, for example. It can be done on my salary- it WILL be done on my salary. But on my salary plus one other salary- it can be DONE. With muuuuch less planning.

Like I said, redundant but recurring thought.

I have also decided here in the last hour or so that I need to start studying for my CCRN. It is a certification on top of my RN license that basically says "Hey, this girl knows her shit about critically ill patients- lets give her some more letters to put behind her name!" Those of you that have known me for awhile know that I don't study. I haven't really needed to- I just pay attention in class and look over my notes the night before the test. I didn't REALLY study for my licensure exam- I took a class and paid attention. However...the CCRN has some pretty detailed information about very particular pieces of drug actions and stuff that "other" nurses don't always have to be concerned about...whether or not it's an alpha or beta agonist or antagonist and whether the pt needs a beta1 or beta2 blockade...so. I will have to study. I have my trusty ICU Book (Thanks Paul L Marino) which I JUST discovered has some tasty little quotes at the beginning of each chapter (A searchlight cannot be used effectively without a fairly thorough knowledge of the territory to be searched. - Fergus Macartney, FRCP; fitting quote for the chapter on pulmonary artery catheters). I also have my Pass! CCRN book. I will be taking a review in October. Ugh.

Oh!! Speaking of October for those of you who are into walking for a good cause- my Mother, my Aunts and myself (maybe other family members) will be joining in the Memory Walk for the Alzheimer's Associations local Fort Worth Chapter on October 17th at La Grave Field near downtown Fort Worth. Let me know if you want to join up. It is for a WONDERFUL cause that is very near and dear to my heart.

Which leads me to my OTHER point (I have lots of them tonight)- I have decided to take up a cause. Well, two actually. One is Alzheimer's Disease (It sucks) and the other is Organ Donation (it is awesome). I've lost two family members to Alzheimer's and I have become very passionate about organ donation since going to work in the ICU. I think it's always just good practice to have a cause. Being an overacheiver...I chose two.

I have also decided that I need a hobby. When I'm not working I mostly just sit around and watch tv and pet my dog and sometimes go to the gym and sometimes cook. I need a HOBBY. Or a second job. Even better would be a hobby that pays $$. Some of you girls are doing the card making (which I enjoy doing...I just don't- but I enjoy a lot of things I just don't do) and some are big with the cooking and baking and volunteering. I really need to get my violin revamped and go play in the FW Community Orchestra. That would be the easiest. Or start selling stuff like everyone else on the planet. I like Scentsy, but everyone sells that. I like Stampin' Up! but I would have to make cards and have parties and stuff. Maybe Southern Living at Home. It's just stuff and I don't know anyone who sells it.

Really, I just want to DO MORE. I read all these blogs of these wonderful girls that I know and they DO things. They have YL groups or they cook these ridiculous meals or they take beautiful photographs or raise their freaking kids or whatever else it is they do apart from their jobs. I go to work, push some meds, occasionally save a life and then come home, sleep, microwave a meal and maybe go see a movie where shit blows up. I need a life. I just don't know what to do!!!!!!

Rereading this blog before posting...I'm kind of a mess!